Escaping Kachin State for Mae Sot
Naw Kawthoolei Paw is a young woman currently residing in Mae Sot, Thailand, working with a women's organization and actively involved with other political institutions. She was interviewed on September 23rd, 2022.
“I also thought of joining the fighting force to participate in the revolution, but I had to consider what I would be good at.”
"I am currently living in Mae Sot. In my current situation, my mental health has a lot of ups and downs, but I try to encourage myself to persevere. I’m now involved with an organization that works for women. I’m also participating in activities with strike committees and other political groups. When the military coup occurred I was still studying and working on my research paper. Due to the risk associated with my work, I have to move often. Because of that sense of insecurity I can’t focus properly on my education. Moreover, the situation made it harder to contact my research participants. My educational plans were almost ruined. Besides, one of my friends was arrested, and it was tough to be mentally stable after that, since it was my first time encountering something like that—it hurts a lot. I had to do counselling and rebuild myself. Before the military coup, I had a plan to study abroad, but since I’ve had to run away, I can’t study, and I can’t go back to Burma either.
I lived in Mae Sot for 10 years and I only moved to Yangon when I started working. So, since I was a kid, I’ve experienced how Burmese people are suffering from Burmese politics. I grew up as a migrant and once a year I would go back to Yangon to visit my grandparents. I was a little taller than people my age, so the soldiers at the checkpoints would ask for my ID card, but I didn’t have one so I had to pay bribes instead. There were mostly DKBA (Democratic Karen Buddhist Army) and some KNU (Karen National Union) checkpoints, and the soldiers would take things you bought if they liked them and also told people to walk a long way. When the NLD (National League for Democracy) took over, that situation got better. However, the coup undid all the progress and it got even worse, with wars happening all around the country.
In April, I left Yangon for security reasons. It was a water festival time in Burma which is a holiday that the Burmese soldiers also celebrate, so there weren’t many checkpoints on the way, and I could safely reach the KNU-controlled area. I had to stay there for two months: I couldn’t go to Mae Sot immediately because I was afraid of being arrested at one of the many checkpoints. Also, the Burmese military sent drones to the KNU area where I was staying every night to check on locations and movement.
I do have a lot on my mind and I think of going back to Yangon. However, I have to think about the organization I am working for. I also thought of joining the fighting force to participate in the revolution, but I had consider what I would be good at. To be honest, I was offered many opportunities to study abroad due to the current situation. I used to want to study politics and security abroad, but when the opportunities arose, I didn’t dare to go because I couldn’t leave my country, family and friends. I do really want to study abroad, but on the other hand, I don’t want to feel like I am betraying my country. I am still trapped in a dilemma.
The most significant decision I made was to settle in Mae Sot. As a young person, I want to return to Yangon and participate in the strike movement. However, I am also now engaging with other political activities and can't give up my work either. My supervisors suggested I should work from Mae Sot and support from there, as there are many different ways to participate in the revolution. Even if I decided to return to Yangon, I don’t have a network to join as most of my friends are not in Yangon anymore. My parents are pleased knowing I decided to stay in Mae Sot with them. If I were to return to Yangon or Kawthoolei, they might collapse with stress and both of them have diabetes. They might not be against whatever decision I make, but they will be super worried and that could severely affect their health.
While escaping back to Mae Sot, I met many very talented youth leaders. I also met with some KNU leaders while staying in that area. One of the leaders even knew about me, and I didn't expect that. He has been following the news every day, so he noticed me in some news and recognized me when we first met. Some leaders give space for young people to participate, speak and discuss. I encountered a lot of great people, both young and old. When I got back from Yangon, I couldn't sleep well at night and had this constant worry of having to run away again whenever I heard sounds. I had trauma and was living in fear all the time. I’ve had to do counselling, spend time with my friends and reduce some of my workload. As a young person, I always try to learn more and improve myself, but I have work and other duties so my body can’t manage it anymore and I’ve developed a problem in my stomach. As a result, I realized health is essential for me and everyone fighting this fight. All this pain and sympathy for everyone on the run gives me hope to keep trying my best. I want everyone to live free and want injustice and violence to disappear.
In the future, I want to study abroad and broaden my international and regional network and then I’ll give back to Burma. I want to promote teamwork rather than individualism. I want Burma to be a federal state, where ethnic groups can write their own state constitutions and decentralize. I want equal power sharing and a peaceful environment, a country with states with their own authority and governance over their territories. I also think all-inclusiveness is fundamental and equal respect toward everyone in the discussions because the lack of respect and appreciation causes political conflicts."
These stories are collected by the Real Stories Not Tales team. Real Stories Not Tales is a dedicated team in and out of Myanmar that aims to bring awareness to the reality of people's lives since the Myanmar military staged a coup on February 1st, 2021. Stories are collected through interviews with each protagonist by the team, either in Burmese or in English. Each character is drawn by a professional illustrator. RSNT is an anonymous name that is used by the group to guarantee security to all parties involved in the collection of the stories.