Letting Go of Hate
Eh Nay Thaw's experience encapsulates the complexities of finding home amidst displacement, as he shared on a recent podcast episode. Born in Myanmar, his earliest memories are overshadowed by conflict between the military junta and the Karen National Liberation Army, forcing his family to seek refuge in Thailand. Life in the camp was stark; fundamental needs like food and healthcare were luxuries. Amidst such scarcity, his mother's tales of a bountiful homeland—a "land without evil"—shaped his perception of home as a place of natural abundance and cultural ease. As a Karen in territories marked by military aggression, the backdrop of violence was constant. Yet, Eh Nay Thaw's reflections pivot to cultural identity; he connects to the Karen concept of 'Knyaw', translating to 'children of simplicity', paralleling the Karen word for humans, emphasizing minimalism and connection to the land. For Eh Nay Thaw, home is not just about a physical space but also about intangible elements—language, customs, and community practices like hospitality. Even now, as he navigates his definition of home, the traditional sounds of early morning life in the Karen landscape echo as a profound element of his identity. His story is one of resilience, but also of a continued search for a place that can truly be called home.
“I realized that what the Burmese military did to us, the Burmese citizens did not have anything to do with it and they, themselves, were also suffering from the patriarchal Burmese-led military regime.”
Drawing from the history of ancient Karen people, grudges and hatred towards the Burmese people by the Karen community come from generational oppression and persecutions of the Karen, solely by the Burmese military regime. Originally, the first Karen ancestors arrived in Burma, prior to any major ethnic resettlement inside modern-day Burma, after migrating from the Gobi desert and Mongolia, traveling through Tibet into Burma. We were settled along the lines of Western Thailand and Eastern Burma, as well as in the South-west Burma near the Ayeyarwady delta. Because this land was the most peaceful relocation our ancestors have experienced, we did not build any army. However, our ancestors were caught between the territorial war between the two great nations and ancient rivalries – Siam and Burma. As a result, Karen people were persecuted by both sides of the war to be used as slaves to build the two great empires.
The ongoing persecution of Karen people by the Burmese military regime is what informed me of my past. That is, I learned the story of oppression and brutality towards my ancestors through my own individual experiences as a refugee. I noticed that many native indigenous people, often called hilltribe people, who lived in modern day Burma, have to flee back and forth between Burma and Thailand. Therefore, I do not question the ancient stories of Karen persecutions and victimhood. A lot of people who shared this experience, joined the fierce resistance groups who fight and resist the Burmese military by any means, for their entire life. If we do not fight, they will keep doing the same thing to us. Because of this, as a kid, I also held grudges and anger towards the military.
Since we lived in the ethnic territory, we only have interaction with the Burmese military, and not the Burmese civilians. It resulted in the image of all Burmese people as all bad guys. Because they were the bad guys, I could not tolerate the Burmese language and culture as a kid! I did not like hearing Burmese language and was angry at the school for teaching Burmese in class. My question was, “Why do we have to learn the Burmese whereas all other languages are removed from the system?”. Moreover, I did not like identifying as Burmese and my grudges towards Burmese people lasted until I came to the United States.
Through social studies, church programs, and conflict reconciliation programs, I was able to learn how to forgive, let go and move forward. I realized that what the Burmese military did to us, the Burmese citizens did not have anything to do with it and they, themselves, were also suffering from the patriarchal Burmese-led military regime. I studied politics in university, to understand why states go to war with its own people. I studied conflicts (e.g, conflicts in South Africa) and social issues between civil rights movements. It was through serious academic studies that I learned to forgive myself and not to hold grudges against the perpetrators of my people and my personal family. It took me a long time to convince myself that Burmese people are not to be blamed but the military junta and those in power. This was not easy. Even today, it sometimes triggers me when I see Burmese language used in the media, even though majority of attendees were Karen people. When this happens, I remind myself to be conscious and be aware that it is not Burmese people’s fault but just the military.